Love Vanilla? Try the Vanilla Orchid (if you have the time!)

While volunteering one wintery Saturday, a Greater DSM Botanical Garden staff, introduced me to the Vanilla Orchid. I noticed that the more he talked about it, the more excited he became; I commented, you must really like orchids. He acknowledged, he indeed does but explained further that the Vanilla Orchid is especially unique because he has been the one propogating this orchid for a while. And, as he explained how hard they are to propogate, I would feel the same. It is a delicate science. So detailed, he provided instructions as to how exact it can be, and sometimes unsuccessful, to grow a vanilla orchid, down to the time of day (between 12-3pm) when you introduce the reproductive parts of the plant to one another.

Typically viney, they can grow up to 35' tall

According to About Flowers, hand-pollinating is required with chopsticks (I believe, Josh uses tweezers). The pollen is removed from the stamen of one flower then placed on the stigma on another flower. If successful, a pod should form within a week; harvest is ready in 9-10 months! Yes, months!

Then, the next step is a detailed process of reaping the benefits of the actual vanilla, i.e., the curing process, which, as About Flowers continues to explain, "...is labor -intensive, and involves sweating and drying. Every DAY for SIX weeks, you must wrap the beans in a blanket at night to facilitate moisture condensation on the pods. During the day, place the beans on trays in the sun, or under a heat lamp indoors. Following this sweating process, you should dry to now brown and shriveled pods in a dark, dry place for an additional THREE MONTHS. You can store the cured beans in an air tight container indefinitely." [emphasis added].

Are you exhausted yet? I was just reading it. Apparently, though, the curing process is required to release the glycosides before it can be used in foods or perfumes, according to the Orchid Flower HQ. Clearly, growing and harvesting the Vanilla Orchid is not for the faint of heart.

I can, though, see why he was so excited about showing me the pod. He said the one he showed me was a poor specimen of how brilliant they can look and smell because it was several days old and beginning to rot; however, I was able to at least appreciate his hard work and the essence of the Vanilla Orchid. Even its spent stage, the pod smelled heavenly (and it hadn't been through the curing process either).

Picture credit: The Orchid Flower HQ. There weren't any blooms at GDSMBG when I was there.

The pod. Can't you smell it, even though it's starting to brown/rot at the top.

Thanks so much for reading!

My Quest to Becoming a Master Gardener is...

Complete.

So, I started this crazy journey last December. I type “crazy” because there are about a zillion things I want to do at any given time/day/year. My problem has always been time and focus…not enough time to do my zillion things and not enough focus because I have so many things I want to do. However, after a second attempt (again, focus ran out in 2006), I set out to become a Master Gardener in 2014. Classes began in September 2013; completed in December 2013.

For those who haven’t heard of the master gardener program before, it is an internally recognized volunteer program focusing on horticulture. It exists in all 50 states and is typically based out of a state university; in Iowa, the program is housed at the Iowa State University Extension and Outreach and is supported by the Department of Horticulture.

The goal of the program is to trade “…specialized training in horticulture for a commitment to spend a specified number of hours doing volunteer outreach work for extension.” In Iowa, “there are Master Gardeners in more than 90 counties, and more than 10,000 Iowans have been trained in the Master Gardener program,”equating to approximately, “90,000 hours of volunteer service…”

The mission of the Iowa State University Extension Master Gardener Program is to provide current, research-based, home horticulture information and education to the citizens of Iowa through programs and projects. Through their participation in educational activities, Master Gardeners also increase their own personal knowledge in horticulture. Master Gardeners extend Iowa State University Extension’s consumer horticulture education programs through volunteer activity.

So, with that background, I signed up.

Starting in September, I sat with approximately 30 other people, every Tuesday night, for 3 hours, for approximately 12 weeks learning about wildlife management, trees, landscaping, diseases, houseplants…you get the gist. The set-up is pretty easy…come to a Tuesday night in a designated county, then (typically) a professor will instruct from a satellite office. While there may only be 30 people physically in the class, you are connected to other counties at the same time, equating to a few hundred “classmates.” Some nights were spent watching an ISU professor from a satellite location; while others were spent with a live person visiting to discuss houseplants or greenhouses or produce. We students always brought our manuals and reading material, oh, and questions, lots of questions.

I had several favorite moments while taking the MG course. I enjoyed listening to other students’ experiences. For example, a retired couple recently purchased an apple orchard and they were interested in revitalizing it, but had absolutely no idea how; a mother of five, who recently purchased a home with seven acres of land; a retired teacher who saw the Discovery Garden at the Iowa State Fair and wanted to be a part of its growth. I probably fall in this category too—one of my absolute favorite things to do at the Iowa State Fair, i.e., go in the early morning to visit the Discovery Garden; if you haven’t been yet, I highly recommend it. If interested in seeing pictures from previous years at the DG, see to the right; I’ve uploaded some photos. Another favorite of taking the MG course is the amount of learning, at a very easy pace. There was no pressure to learn but I was surrounded by the desire to learn; everyone was there because they wanted to be (admittedly, this was a departure from some college courses I had to slog through.) The MG course also provides the opportunity to be a student for a day at Iowa State University. With your classmates, you get to go from class to class learning about various gardening topics, including identifying diseases, insects, and plant/flower identification. We conducted experiments, including clay compaction and flower dissection (yep, there are such things).

With all this training, there are two requirements – 40 hours of volunteering (in the first year; the second year, 40 hours of volunteering plus 10 CEUs are required). The volunteering can come from a variety of sources, i.e., botanical gardens, booths set-up at a community event, working in a community garden, writing articles/blogs, greenhouse help. For me, I volunteered at the Dallas County Fair in July 2014, where we spoke with fair-goers about the MG program and helped little ones make dragonflies out of laundry clips and Popsicle sticks. Also, I began volunteering at The Des Moines Botanical Gardens. And, last, I write. I love sharing my pictures and experiences with nature, flowers, gardening (which I hope you have enjoyed, anyway…)

This blog post marks my accomplishment of completing the Master Gardener program and the required 40 hours of volunteering!

Hooray for me, my improved time management skills (and, if you know what a year I’ve had, you’ll know this was almost an insurmountable feat), and fabulous focus!

To find out about the Iowa State University Master Gardener Program, click here.

More to come; until then, thanks for reading!

A Few Other Fan Favorites Before the Holidays are (officially) Over

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas with family and loved ones. I was incredibly lucky to see my family over the Christmas weekend; it's been a long while since I've been West. 

Just a few more I wanted to share before the holidays are officially over. This will be the last of the "holiday series"; I hope you've enjoyed, at minimum, the pictures and perhaps, maybe, learned a thing or two (although, the more I learn, I realize I know nothing.)

Anthuriums
I'm in love with Anthuriums. I think they are so bright and distinct from any other flower during the holidays. Although usually bright red, they come in a variety of shades of red, including pink, purple, even orange. The flowers (as seen below) are almost waxy. You can find a potted, ready for the indoors, anthuium at just about any floral shop, grocery store, or specialty store. They are low maintenance and their blossoms last for several weeks before they need to be pinched and discarded. They can grow outdoors in mild climates and in shady spots; however, I write this from Iowa, where it is approximately 3 degrees WITHOUT the wind chill factor (below 12 with). No mild weather from my vantage point. 

Something I didn't know until now...Anthurium means, in Greek, tail flower; most likely because its stem can grow to approximately 15-20 inches. According to the Flower Expert, the bigger the spathe, the longer the stem...in picture form...

Photo source: Encyclopedia of Science

Anyway, a little too technical, so below are the pretty pictures I took while volunteering at The Greater Des Moines Botanical Garden. 

NOTE: The biggest downside to Anthuriums is that every part of the plant is poisonous, so they must be kept away from children and pets. 

Cyclamen

Now, bare with me...this is what I think of when I see Cyclamen...gorgeous ladies riding in a convertible, cruising along a beach on some windy highway, with their hair flapping in the wind. This is what cyclamen remind me of...look close...can you see it?

You can faintly see yellowing below the bright green leaves...these yellow leaves can be pulled out soon and discarded.

Low maintenance but generally* short-lived are cyclamen, enjoy the indoors, do not like cold climates. If you happen to purchase the root ball, or tuber, they like to be planted slightly above the soil. When watered, you water  from the bottom, not the top. Also, it leaves tend to yellow from the bottom, so, to check, you lift the green foliage and you will, inevitably, find yellowed leaves. Gently and simple pull the leaves out, so as not to harm the healthy parts of the plant. Eventually the blossom will fade as well, tug on the flower, and it, and its stem, should come out. 

Above, I have an asterisk by generally...there are some green thumbs who can bring cyclamens out of its dormant phase during the fall (after a long summer's nap); however, I have yet to be successful (most likely because I've moved on and forgot where I stored it). However, if you want to try it, About Home Gardening Tips provides advice for drying, storing, then "re-awakening" your tuber. 

Poinsettias

Because these beauties are so well known, I'll try to find what is not known...

• The most head-scratching of the poinsettias is that they do not like the cold (including cold windows or chilly drafts); yet, they typically appear during the winter.
• True or False...Poinsettias are toxic. False, maybe...laboratory studies have shown that the leaves, stems, bracts, and flowers are not toxic to people or pets. However, I do not recommend eating them and just as a precaution, I wouldn't let your children or pets eat them either. There is baby food and pet food for that.
• When picking out poinsettias...
• Look for a healthy, undamaged plant. Leaves should even be present on the stem and at the base of the plant.
• Avoid plants where the  flowers are shedding pollen or falling off. 
• Look for insects, which can linger long after the plant is gone.

Once home, keep them in a well-lit location (but not too bright) and you water when it fails the sponge test (that's what I call it anyway; see below for details). Water from the bottom, rather than dripping water on top of the flowers (or brachs).  

[SPONGE TEST: Take a sponge and saturate it with water; then, wring it out. Notice that the sponge is still wet but not dripping? This is how you want the soil to feel on your thumb (the wetness of a wrung-out sponge).]

There is a great article regarding Poinsettias here for additional information.

Here are my pictures from the Greater Des Moines Botanical Garden.

Thank you for reading. 

Holla to the Holiday Cacti!

You've likely walked passed them at the floral department in the grocery store. Or, maybe you have seen them in someone's office (and, person of said office declares how incredibly low maintenance they are--never a drop of water needed. Or, like me, you have a relative who swears they bloom all the time and they are sooooo easy. My Grandma has had one in her kitchen window for as long as I can remember...in a cup of water...with blossoms more often than not...with stems long enough to cut to root in a new cup of water. Color me jealous. Historically, my luck with any sort of cactus or succulent can be summed up as tossing good money after bad and a WILTED cactus in the trash, rotten from the massive amounts of water I would give it.

Since then, the best "thing" I've learned about caring for plants is to find the plant that suits me. For example, because I like caring for plants, including watering, I typically stay away from cacti or succulents but own a peace lily because they don't mind having wet "feet." Also, because I live in a brightly lit place, I stay away from plants easily scorched by the sun; I have a few ficus plants that thrive in bright conditions. Once I learned what works, my home soon became and remains full of greenery. Just ask anyone who comes over, it is typically the first comment people make, "Oh, you must have a green thumb." My thought, no, I just found plants that fits my lifestyle.

That was until about a year ago, while grocery shopping, I decided to take the plunge and buy a holiday cactus, determined to make it work this time. For $3.99, I figured I could take the loss. Pure luck, at first; however, I did some research. Over a year later, my Holiday Cactus are still going strong.

Holiday cactus are a great alternative to the Poinsettias or Amaryllis during the winter time. You will typically see them in full bloom around Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas (hence, the "holiday" in the name). The blossoms range in color from white, pink, red, lavender, orange, and all shades in between. The coolest way, to me anyway, to tell the difference between the three mentioned holiday cacti are the shape of leaves...

ISU Extension RG308 publication

They are epiphytic plants (meaning they live on another plant but do not hurt the other plant); see my earlier post about epiphytic plants here.

Like rubber plants, holiday cacti like their roots cramped, which is great because repotting needs are minimal (needed only when you see the roots coming out of the pot or even breaking a pot if big enough). If you must repot, use well-drained potting soil; outside soil will not work, especially in Iowa (too clayey).

According to Iowa State University (ISU) Extension, "Thanksgiving and Christmas cacti depend on short daylengths and cool temperatures to set flower buds, while Easter cacti will bloom with cool temperatures at the normal seasonal daylength." Further, you can keep your plant dryer than most (something I struggle with) until you see buds forming. Once blooming, keep the soil moderately moist and place the plant in a bright spot (if your home is one the dryer side, water more frequently; typically, once a week is sufficient though). Mine is right by the storm door. It used to be further away; however, once I moved it to within inches of the storm door, it has bloomed three times. Go me!

To find out more about Holiday Cactus, click here; the Iowa State University Reiman Gardens has additional information regarding Holiday Cactus.

Last, recently, I volunteered at the Des Moines Botanical Gardens, where there are TONS of holiday cacti throughout the conservatory and greenhouses. Here are a few snaps...

 

Thank you for reading!

Who Doesn't Like the Amaryllis?

Typically, around Christmas time, poinsettias make their stay. Personally, I don't mind poinsettias, until I have to water them. Why? They like to be watered, but not too much. They don't like their leaves wet. They don't like their feet wet. They don't like the cold (which is weird because they are displayed during...well...winter). They are poisonous to pets and children. They don't like wind. Oh, and their leaves are super easy to rip. Then, when they are ripped, they "bleed" a sticky, milky white substance that takes industrial-strength soap to wash out (ok, maybe not, but still). I think the phrase for poinsettias is 'high maintenance.' But, to their credit, they are beautiful, bright and bold.

However, if you want a little less maintenance for just as much beautiful, bright, and bold, there is something different that is becoming more mainstream. Fast becoming a fan favorite alternative to the poinsettia during the holiday season due to its beautiful showiness and low-maintenance style, the Amaryllis' can be found in the most unique boutiques to the cookie-cutter big-box retailers. Typically, they can grow quickly in six to eight weeks after purchase when planted in a pot and as high as 2-3 feet. With blooms lasting as long as 4-6 weeks, amaryllis' serve as the bright, colorful beacon throughout a long, bleak winter.

I am in love with them, in fact. While volunteering at the DSM Botanical Gardens a few weeks ago, I was surrounded by many, many different varieties. See the snaps below.

If you can't make it to the DSM Botanical Gardens over the next few weeks, then, consider growing one (or several) yourself. If interested in growing your own, here are some helpful tips...

When planting, keep a little of the bulb poking out of the soil. Once planted, place the pot in a sunny window and water minimally at first. Once you see some growth then give more water. Typically, the stalk grows before the leaves (but leaf growth is important too for the longevity of the amaryllis...keep reading to find out why). I have read that they should be fertilized every two to four weeks with a dilute fertilizer solution; however, I have not and mine did fine. With that being said, the fertilizer solution will likely affect the longevity of the plant throughout the years, however, so something to consider.

See the bulb sticking out of the soil every so slightly?

The result...beautiful showy flowers of all types of varieties...they look almost like hibiscus. (Yet, some obvious distinctions, amaryllis petals are thicker than hibiscus and the overall plant has less foliage than the sun-loving hibiscus.)

According to Iowa State University Master Gardeners, once the flowered is spent, the stalk should be cut with a sharp knife just two inches above the bulb without damaging the leaves. (Fun Fact: for the bulb to bloom next season, the plant finds its food in the leaves, which acts as food reserves during its dormant period).

***These pictures were taken recently at the Des Moines Botanical Gardens. There are many varieties, plus your traditional whites and reds.

Hidden you can find some poinsettias peeking through (but I think I 'accidentally' failed to take their picture).***

Almost looks like a type of orchid, doesn't it?

Once you've cut the stalk, cleared the soil from the bulb, and throw the spent bloom away, the dormant stage of your bulb can begin. To force dormancy, place the bulb in a cool, semi-dry location and withhold water. Cut the leaves when they turn brown (brown indicates no more food).

To bring your bulb out of dormancy, repeat cycle, i.e., pot bulb in soil with part of bulb peeking out, water minimally, etc.

The cycle repeats itself

If interested in finding out how to 'harden' your amaryllis for the outdoors, see here. I'll be honest, I've never tried hardening an amaryllis, but if you have, I'd be interested in hearing how it went.

So, that's amaryllis in a nutshell...I'm interested to know your experiences...have you had luck growing these beautiful flowers? Better yet, have you had luck from year to year with the same bulb? Let me know.

Thanks for reading.

I am loved, African Violet Terrarium Style

Coming home today after a long day, I couldn't wait to put my jammies on and chill at home. Yet, right before I walked in the door, I checked the mail quick and, to my surprise, a package was waiting for me. 

Because I'm loved, my bestie sent me a Hanging Terrarium with a small, purple African Violet from Etsy. Thank you, Maryann! I love it! 

Receiving this awesome Christmas gift sparked my need to share it with you. 

Terrariums serve as microclimates for plants. A microclimate is an area that has a different climate than its surrounding climate. And many plants can thrive in these microclimates, including spider plants, pothos, succulents, and African violets. All you need is the proper soil, which can range from typical potting soil to a more sandy mixture, moss to retain moisture, any decorations you might want to include in the terrarium, and your plant of choice. 

Just as normal-size African violets, this pint-size violet needs bright but indirect light and it must be kept evenly moist throughout but not soggy. African violets hate two things: 1) to have soggy "feet", or roots, and to have wet leaves. Wet feet lead to root rot and mold. Wet leaves lead to "burning" and death for the violet usually because their fuzzy leaves cannot take the minerals and salts typically found in tap water. To alleviate, you carefully lift the violet's foliage and water below the leaves or you can fill a tray with water, set the plant in for a few minutes, then drain. The roots will soak up the water from the bottom. It's simple. Last, to keep the plant healthy, pinch and toss any spent flowers, so new ones can bloom. 

This is your public service announcement for African Violets and mini's in terrariums (and my Master Gardeners)! 

Thank you, Maryann! It's perfect. 

Epiphytes What?

While at The Greater Des Moines Garden this morning, I came across the Epiphytes display. I had no idea what Epiphytes were/are, but after reading the display, “Ohhh. Well, I knew that.”

Typically recognized as orchids, epiphytes most distinctive trait is their ability to grow on other plants. Their roots cling to the trunks and branches of trees and collect water and nutrients from the air. Even though they grow on other trunks and branches, they do not cause harm.

I have found orchids have grown in popularity over the last several years. Once hard to find and incredibly high-priced, you can now find them in most floral shops and garden centers year-round. 

According to ISU publication Plant Wise, foliage for epiphytic is typically minimal and “rather boring” yet, the flowers are not.

Besides being displayed at the Des Moines Botanical Garden, I notice many people decorate their office with orchids. Purple, pink, white, yellow displayed in cubes with bright low, low light, or even just stems after the blossoms have fallen. The most common question I get is, “how much water do I give it?” and “how long will the blossoms last?” Because epiphytes grow on other objects, like bark or stone, they do not need to be replanted when purchased. 

However, to enjoy them:  

• Because the blooms can last for several weeks, display in an area with bright but indirect light, i.e., east- and north-facing windows. If in a south window, you might want to have a sheer curtain to ensure the plant isn’t scorched.
• Orchids do not like “wet feet” or a “soggy bottom”, so give approximately ½ cup water every 7 to 10 days; too much water encourages rot; (some people will put 2-3 ice cubes on top of the soil);
• Medium light, i.e., no direct light, otherwise, you’ll burn the plant;
• Pinch the bloom off once it is “spent” or wilted.

If, after all the blooms are spent, you can repot. According to the Jefferson County Master Gardeners of Iowa: 

• Use a smaller pot. Unlike most plants and like ficuses, orchids like their roots cramped together;
• Use specialized orchid pots using an orchid soil mixture; regular potting soil will likely not have the soil balance needed for the orchid flourish;
• Be sure to use a pot with drainage slits for water to drain out;  
• During the growing season, provide orchid fertilizer weekly;
• During the summer months, water a little more than usual (but, again, not to the point of soggy);
• During winter months, reduce watering and no need to fertilize. (JM note: while some recommend misting an orchid, I wouldn’t. There is a potential for insect infestation and overwatering);
• If you see yellowing leaves, wrinkled leaves or no blooms, tweak the conditions…for example, move the plant, water more, water less…until you find the right spot for your orchid.

Without further delay, I snapped some photos and am sharing with you. I hope you enjoy as much as I do, especially, if, like me, it is cold and cloudy outside; every bit of color helps any spirit.

 

SOURCES:

• Jefferson County Master Gardeners
• Plant Wise, Iowa State University Extension

INTERESTED IN BECOMING A MASTER GARDENER

Hello Again!

So, I haven’t written in what feels like eons. I believe to this site, specifically, it has been since August 2013 when I was struggling whether to approve surgery for Rusty. Well, he is still with me—tumor, growth, lump, what have you—but in that same time, I’ve lost my beloved kitties, Bear and Teddy. They were sisters; I had them since they were about 4 weeks old until their death 18 years later. I’ve been fairly quiet about this, I suppose, out of a deep love of beings who have been through the gnarliest of thicks and the shoestrings of thins, undergrad, grad school, finals, sickness, relocations, jobs, relationships…you name it. By the time, they passed, they were almost 100 years old in kitty years. And, for me, their missed meows continue to be sacred and ridiculously cherished in my heart.

With all that said, as Rusty lays by my side, it’s time to write. Specifically, for my garden, nature, and flower lovers, green thumbs (no-so-green thumbs), I wanted to share my new experiences as of late with you, but didn’t know of the right venue…until I remembered, I had this site. Ta-da!

I recently started volunteering at The Greater Des Moines Botanical Garden, at first, purely for selfish reasons; I am trying to become a Master Gardener, which comes with a requisite of 40 hours of volunteer service. However, since October when I began, I have found that I enjoy it personally immensely. Every week, there is a new surprise at the gardens, even in November. 

And, I CAN’T WAIT TO SHARE MY EXPERIENCES (note the ALL CAPS—illegal in writing because it “sounds” like I’m yelling).

At What Cost?

In my baby book, my mom wrote, Jessica is fond of animals; she has a compassion for them unlike most kids; I think she might be a vet.

When I was 11 years old, my parents took me to this apartment I’d never been to before. They wouldn’t tell me why they were taking me there, but upon opening the door and seeing a mama basset hound I knew! I was picking out my first puppy for my birthday. I can’t remember how many basset hound puppies there were, maybe 7 or 8, but I remember how absolutely adorable they were. Covered in brown, black, white, or checkered with all three, they all had ears—loppy, floppy, and insanely cute. One had the biggest, blackest ears that as she ran to greet me, she tripped on them. I fell in love with her instantly. We took her home and I named her Lady Molly Madison Montana. Years later, she was fatally struck by a nasty neighbor who refused to drive no less than 70 mph down our 35 mph road. Thankfully, I was in college at the time, so I missed the terrible episode my parents had to experience. My parents waited to tell me about Molly until after semester finals because they knew I would be devastated (at the time I was ticked they waited, but in hindsight, it was a smart move.)

During Zoology lab in my sophomore year in college, we were asked to inject a LIVING sea urchin with a saline solution that forced the urchin to secrete eggs (or sperm, I can’t remember). I asked, will the saline solution kill the sea urchin? Well yeah, my professor flippant. I put my sea urchin down and walked out. I didn’t care if I failed the class; I would not be a part of killing an animal.

To this day, I don’t kill ants, spiders, or flies when they enter my home if I can help it. Nope. Instead, I trap them in a glass and whisk them outside. I’ve stopped traffic to rescue a turtle tramped on a busy street. I refuse to stab worms with fish hooks. My Facebook page is littered with anti-poaching, palm oil bans, and save the Earth campaigns (to the point where people have stated, you don’t post much about yourself, do you?) All in all, I am an animal person. I pretty much love all of them, even the ugly ones (wait, there are no ugly ones.)

I understand people and animals must die; it’s a part of life. However, it’s the pain just before death I hate. Life’s biggest injustice is the pain a being feels before death. And, if possible and pretty much at any cost, I do not want to contribute to that injustice in any way. This time, however, I can’t rely on my parents to protect me, walk out on a lab experiment, or go vegetarian when it suits my fancy. Death is knocking on my door.

My 13-year old cat, Rusty, has a giant mass attached to his liver in his right abdomen. It may simply be a cyst, a light bulb shaped growth squishing against his organs, thus causing discomfort when he eats. Or, it may, of course, be the dreaded cancer, which can be exceptionally aggressive especially when disturbed. Problem is, we don’t know what it is unless we operate (though he also has other smaller lesions growing directly on his liver, a sign of cancer.)

Since adopting Rusty seven years ago from the Animal Rescue League, he has been my constant companion. Through late night study sessions, arguments with boyfriends, the passing of my wonderful grandfather, personal sick days, moving days, and lazy Sundays, he has seen it all and still loves me. Even as I type this, he is nestled on my desk, head tucked under a paw, sleeping against my arm. I know he is not supposed to live forever and as my mom so poignantly noted, don’t you want to outlive your pets; otherwise, who else but you would take good care of them? She is so right.

Even still, I’m faced with a decision. Go through with surgery, which sounds easy cheesy coming from the surgeon, “We just cut his chest open from his forearms down about six inches, remove the tumor, and stitch him back up,” he says, “he’ll be in the hospital 2 or 3 days, then expect a 10-14 day recovery period at home.” To me, it sounds like I’m waiting for UPS to deliver a package.

Of course, the cost is expensive. But, even if I had a mere $100 or an explosive $1,000,000, I know I could come up with the money. Money is not the issue. My issue is whether he should go through a surgery like this? Even in the human world, cutting open one’s chest followed by a 2-3 day stay in the hospital is substantial. Recovery doesn’t wrap itself up in a cute little bow in 10-14 days. In reality, there will be pain medication, check-up visits every 2 to 3 months, ultrasounds to see if the tumor is back and metastasizing to other organs, blood samples to test organ functions, and x-rays to monitor the remaining lesions on the liver that are not removable.

So, agree to a surgery hoping the mass will not grow back and his internal organs will have room making eating more comfortable (assuming he will still be interested in eating at that point); agree to surgery that will also most definitely bring pain to his body and destroy any semblance of peace and comfort he currently has; agree to a surgery that might end his life because, if it is cancer, we are disturbing a beast? Time of survival? If it does not metastasize, then he lives as long as the lesions on his liver will allow.  If it does, he has approximately 2 to 3 months.

Otherwise, decline the surgery, leaving the huge mass. He will experience discomfort after eating some days; other days, he will be fine. Until eventually, he will stop eating altogether. The mass will have grown so big, nothing else will fit. Eventually he will die of starvation, dehydration, or liver failure (from those damn lesions). Time of survival? Unknown.

Right now, he is eating, drinking, sleeping, purring, and snuggling. Surgery or no surgery, I’m preparing myself for the day I have to take him to the vet for that final needle. I say prepare because I need to. Even though it is down the road, I can already feel my heart breaking.

In my life I have saved spiders, sea urchins, turtles, cats, and dogs…overall, providing comfort to animals whenever I can. Now, I wonder if Death is just laughing at my indecision and pointing at my fruitless efforts to give Rusty a painless death. He knows he has a winning hand. Inevitably, victory will be his. My question is at what cost to Rusty?